Things Girls Should Know

 1.     If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. 
 2.     Learn to work the toilet seat, if it's up, put it down.
 3.     Birthdays, anniversaries and Valentines Day are not quests 
	to see if we can find the perfect gift once more.
 4.     If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect 
	an answer you don't want to hear.
 5.     Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
 6.     Sunday sports: It's like the full moon or the changing of 
	the tides. It can't be altered, so just let it be.
 7.     Don't ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared
	to discuss such subjects as sex, shortstops or carburators. 
 8.     Shopping is not a sport.
 9.     Anything you wear is fine. Really. 
10.     You have enough clothes.
11.     You have too many shoes.
12.     Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.
13.     No, we don't know what day it is. We never will. Write 
	anniversaries on a calendar.
14.     Yes, peeing standing up is more difficult than peeing from 
	point blank range. We are bound to miss sometimes.
15.     Most guys own two or three pairs of shoes. What makes you think 
	we would be any good at choosing which pair out of 30 would
	look good with your dress?
16.     Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers.
17.     A headache that lasts for 17 days is a problem. See a doctor.
18.     Your mom doesn't have to be our best friend.
19.     Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
20.     Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 
	All comments become null and void after 7 days.
21.     If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one 
	of the ways makes you sad or angry, then we meant the other one. 
22.     Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we 
	know how pretty you are.
23.     You can either ask us to do something, OR tell us how you 
	want it done. Not both.
24.     Whenever possible, please say what you have to say during 
	commercials.
25.     Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.

Educational courses for women now being offered by men

 1.     Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before 
 2.     The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
 3.     Combating Imelda Marcos Syndrome: You Do Not Need New Shoes Everyday
 4.     Parties: Going Without New Outfits
 5.     Man Management: Discover How Chores Can Wait Until After the Game
 6.     Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too
 7.     Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor Is His
 8.     Valuation: Just Because It's Not Important to You . . .
 9.     Communication Skills I: Tears-The Last Resort, Not the First 
10.     Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
11.     Communication Skills III: Getting What You Want, Without Nagging
12.     Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire 
13.     Party Etiquette: Drinking Your Fair Share
14.     Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up 
15.     Introduction to Parking
16.     Advanced Parking: Reversing Into a Space
17.     Overcoming Anal Retentive Behavior: Leaving Towels on the Floor 
18.     Water Retention: Fact or Fat
19.     Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
20.     Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not For Human Consumption 
21.     Cooking III: How Not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People 
22.     Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
23.     PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His 
24.     Dancing: Why Men Don t Like To
25.     Sex - It's For Married Couples Too
26.     Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
27.     Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice 
28.     Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
29.     Ballet and Ice Skating: For Women Only 
30.     Oil and Gasoline: Your Car Needs BOTH 
31.     Learning to Use Public Toilets
32.     Learning to Use the Toilet in Bars Without your Friends 
33.     Do These Jeans Make My Butt Look Big? - Why Men Lie
34.     TV Remotes: For Men Only
35.     Sexy Lingerie: It's Not Just For Special Occasions